You are in good company. One of the recognized authorities on prayer, Saint Teresa of Avila, tells us that there was a period in her life when she seemed to spend her time looking at the sand in her hour-glass. The period of prayer seemed interminable.

Like all the rest of us, there were times when she found the going so hard that she wanted to give up. But she also found that there were other times when. it was not so hard at all. On these occasions it was as if she was being carried along as distinct from struggling against a strong head-wind. She was to discover that if she did her best to keepgoing when it was difficult, sooner or later God would provide her with a favourable wind.

From this she learned that prayer is primarily the work of the Holy Spirit, described in the Scriptures in terms of fire, breath and wind. In her writings, St. Teresa shares her experience of the wonderful workings of God in her own life, convinced that he will deal with everyone else in a similar way.

No alternative to faith
For Saint Teresa, prayer is simply a conversation with a friend who loves you. Another Carmelite nun, Blessed Elizabeth of the Trinity, was more precise. She saw this conversation as 'a tête-à-tête in the dark'. You cannot see this friend but you know through faith that he is there.

In prayer there is no alternative to faith. The simple but very important passage in Habakuk makes this clear. 'The just person lives by faith' (2:4). This is true of all prayerful people from Abraham - 'our father in faith' to the last person who went to heaven before you began reading this article.

The response of a concerned father, when asked whether or not be believed that Jesus could cure his son should be on our lips too, when our faith seems challenged. 'Lord, I believe. Help my unbelief' (Mk. 9:25). In prayer, as in athletics and indeed, everything worthwhile, there is no alternative to perseverance.

Listening
In prayer, as in all conversation there should be both listening and speaking. You seem somewhat perplexed about what to do when 'words fail you'. In conversation with God, where there should be a lot more listening than speaking on our part, this might not be such a bad thing at all. Indeed it could well be a sign of growth in prayer and therefore something to be thankful for.

St. Thérèse of Lisieux tells us that she often found it hard to say the Rosary in the conventional way. This was because she got stuck on a word or rather on the depth of meaning in a word and wanted to stay there. However, if you feel the need to say something it would be hard to improve on the prayer recommended by Eli to Samuel, the little boy in the temple, when it became obvious that God was trying to attract his attention: 'Speak Lord. Your servant is listening'.

Emotional messages
Every time I feel the Spirit movin' in my heart, I will pray. These words from the old American Spiritual, reveal the goodwill of the singer. It is a commendable attitude as long as it does not equate feeling the spirit movin' and feeling 'good'. Feeling miserable in certain circumstances is as genuine a gift of the Spirit as feeling good.
If I am allowing myself to slip into sinful behaviour, what St. Paul terms 'grieving the Spirit', then it is good for me to feel awful. This unpleasant experience can teach me to pray for grace to change my ways. It made all the difference in the life of the Prodigal Son who was languishing in misery in a pig-sty.

The Holy Spirit is the great listener in the Church. In the Blessed Trinity, he is always listening to the Word spoken by God the Father. But now that the Word has become flesh, we too, are invited to listen in our turn. In our efforts we will not be left to our own limited and defective devices. In a very clear passage in his otherwise very dense and difficult letter to the Romans, St. Paul assures us of this:

'The Spirit comes to help us in our weakness, for when we do not know how to pray properly, then the Spirit personally makes our petitions for us in groans that cannot be put into words; and he who can see into all hearts knows what the Spirit means because the prayers that the Spirit makes for God's holy people are always in accordance with the mind of God' (Rom.8:26-27).

Consolation and desolation
St. Ignatius of Loyola, another of the great masters of prayer, reminds us that if we set out earnestly to give time to prayer over our lives, in the early days we will experience both what he calls desolation and consolation.
In any long journey you have the challenging effort of struggling uphill alternating with the relative ease of going down the other side. We learn to take the rough with the smooth and keep going. In this journey we have the consoling final words of St. Matthew's Gospel: 'And look, I am with you always; yes, to the end of time'.